straight up the stupidest people on the planet are “logic over emotion” clowns like you fool, youve fallen into the classic trap of believing literally any aspect of the human experience isnt dictated by emotion!
alton brown: contestants, you have precisely one hour to assemble a dish using only one ingredient (he takes the cover off of the sliver platter to reveal a sad looking bag of pepperoni)
bald chef jeff: ok, so right away i’m thinkin pepperoni pizza. so i go to the pantry to get myself some bread, but there was a rabid dog waiting for me within, so i instantly closed the door before i was mauled and killed by this rabid dog. so my second idea was to assemble a favorite of mine: a pepperoni geyser. now in order to make a pepperoni geyser, you need a floating point unit and a pepperoni propulsion device, which can easily be assembled by [REDACTED BY US GOVERNMENT] so right away i grab the ice cream machine and [REDACTED BY US GOVERNMENT] and that should do it.
alton brown: 3, 2, 1! time’s up, chefs! chef dianne, what have you prepared for us today?
chef dianne: well today, i have prepared for you a dish we always used to make back home in louisana. it’s called “stacks”
(it’s just a stack of pepperoni)
alton brown: revered food columnist Vito Scaletta, what do you think of the “stacks” chef dianne cheyenne has prepared for you today?
revered food columnist vito scaletta, without taking a bite of his stack: i like it. it brings me back to my poker days, makes me feel like i’m winnin’ big!
